Posted by stuart on June 22, 2009 under Uncategorized | 
This is a tribute to Singapore’s Father of Counseling. He had trained me in counseling when I was at the Temasek Polytechnic Specialist Diploma in Counseling and Guidance program in 2000.
According to reports, he was diagnosed with Burkitt’s lymphoma in May, and passed last Saturday. He was 60.
Anthony was inspiring in a subtle manner, and somehow had the ability to bring out the best in the counselors he taught. Novel, creative and yet, passionately caring of people, he will be remembered, especially by the thousands of people whom he has helped. May all counselors aspire to be as amazing in the consistency and impact he made in the world.
Full report: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/437559/1/.html
Posted by stuart on June 19, 2009 under Uncategorized |
I’m surprised - in my organization alone, I have at least 8 people who are licensed trainers of NLP, but it seems I’m the most active developing NLP. This, however, is a good sign. I’ve always been wondering what NLP Practitioners have been doing with their skills. Since I began certifying good NLP Practitioners, they have gone out to set up their own coaching practice, with good effect.
I believe that in order for someone to be a good NLP practitioner, they must move away from being theoretical to being practical. A lot of the people in Singapore, in particular, want to see a practical use for NLP rather than learning a bunch of “interesting things”.
As a practical measure, NLP should be studied to improve the quality of applications out there in the world. For instance, one could apply NLP in the area of leadership, but no one with the right measure of experience in NLP and leadership has been able to come up with effective models of leadership until now.
(yeah, I’ll reveal some of it for your personal benefit in due time, but I can’t do too much because it’s in development)
There are many other applications especially in the areas that require human communication.
So, if you have a passion for people and helping others, you might well want to develop your NLP skills to create a higher level of skill for that specific purpose.
Posted by stuart on June 18, 2009 under Uncategorized |
Oops - I think this is a little bit late because I must have mixed up the postdating on my blog.
In any case, confidence building is an important skill for oneself, and I definitely recommend that you learn how to do this. Essentially, confidence is a skill, so you should have the ability to master it once you understand how to manage your own emotions.
Learn NLP- How To Build Confidence MP3 [11:21m]:
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Posted by stuart on June 6, 2009 under Uncategorized, nlp definitions |
If anyone has asked about the differences between NLP and Hypnosis, it’s probably because they are confused by the two fields of study. I was reading a question of Yahoo Answers and found an odd question: Are some people more ’susceptible’ to NLP than others.
Gee. Am I susceptible to geography? or mathematics? Maybe quantum physics!
I’ll offer something to get some clarity.
Here’s a more or less official definition of hypnosis.
Hypnosis is a mental state (state theory) or set of attitudes (nonstate theory) usually induced by a procedure known as a hypnotic induction, which is commonly composed of a series of preliminary instructions and suggestions. Hypnotic suggestions may be delivered by a hypnotist in the presence of the subject (”hetero-suggestion”), or may be self-administered (”self-suggestion” or “autosuggestion”). The use of hypnotism for therapeutic purposes is referred to as “hypnotherapy“.
The words ‘hypnosis’ and ‘hypnotism’ both derive from the term “neuro-hypnotism” (nervous sleep) coined by the Scottish physician and surgeon James Braid around 1841 to distinguish his theory and practice from those developed by Franz Anton Mesmer and his followers (”Mesmerism” or “animal magnetism“).
Although a popular misconception is that hypnosis is a form of unconsciousness resembling sleep, contemporary research suggests that it is actually a wakeful state of focused attention[1] and heightened suggestibility,[2] with diminished peripheral awareness.[3] In the first book on the subject, Neurypnology (1843), Braid described “hypnotism” as a state of physical relaxation (”nervous sleep”) accompanied and induced by mental concentration (”abstraction”).[4]
Okay, so we know what hypnosis is. Some may even go so far as to say that hypnosis exists even without us realizing it. Is watching TV a “wakeful state of focused attention and heightened suggestibility”? Gee… maybe that’s why TV commercials that work, work well!
How does it vary from NLP? It’s very important to note that NLP focuses a lot on linguistic elements that influence neurological processes. In other words, to study anything in human communication that actually influences other people’s behaviors and actions would constitute part of NLP. The formal definition of NLP is, of course, the study of human excellence, more commonly known as “modeling”.
In this sense, NLP is actually more of a meta tool rather than an application. After all, hypnosis, among other forms of psychotherapy, has its research and foundations in working with people for the specific purpose of reaching a therapeutic goal. NLP is not necessarily about therapy.
NLP can still be applied across contexts - business applications, leadership, persuasion, innovation, team building, health… and the reason why they span such a broad spectrum is simply because NLP is the tool that enables an individual to study the fields in question.
Think of NLP like a magnifying glass, and hypnosis (or any other fields of study) like a thick chunk of tiny text that needs to be deciphered.
Some parts of formal NLP training have involved specific models (such as rapport building and strategies) that have been adopted from various fields (such as communication and information processing/systems theory respectively), and because they are useful, they end up being pretty much permanent fixtures in NLP. However, the process of modeling in NLP is a sequence of questions that leads to an unfolding of a pre-existing model that currently exists.
Posted by stuart on May 30, 2009 under Uncategorized |
I received quite a number of requests to help with focus and concentration using NLP. So, I decided to do a general MP3 recording to show you some complexities, then write out a format to help.
As we know, focus is about getting into the appropriate emotional state. If you can’t do it right away, it’s likely that there are other factors at play, but I believe it’s also about having the resilience and determination to let your brain and mental muscle grow over time. So, be patient and do it.
Focus Using Trigger Method
Step #1 - Identify your environment. Make a list of items that you will see around you.
Step #2 - Think of an emotional state that will make you/force you to focus. It may be a frustration, a belittling statement, maybe even excitement of having achieved it. Feel it as intensely as you can (amplify it if you can)
Step #3 - Build this emotional state to its peak by making it bigger, brighter and louder, then open your eyes and look at the environment around you.
Step #4 - clear your mind
Step #5 - repeat Step #2 - #3.
What you are doing is using your environment as a trigger to engage the states that help you to focus.
Test it out!
Warning: do not do this in a place where you need to rest or relax!
For clarifications, please submit your questions below.
Learn NLP- How To Focus [20:14m]:
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Posted by stuart on May 25, 2009 under Success And Prosperity |
First of all, let me state what might be a little obvious here - many people aren’t driven by success. They are driven by failure. So, if this post kind of gets you wondering why I am talking about money as it relates success and prosperity, it’s not my intention to say that success and prosperity is ONLY about money.
photo credit: pasotraspaso
Okay, disclaimer over. 
Let’s look at using NLP for creating wealth and prosperity. I’ve observed that there are a number of people who appear to be wealth and prosperous who have certain characteristics about them. There is a certain path through which they travelled to arrive at the destination of “success”.
I had written before that “mastery” is not just about skill and that it really is about perseverence. The idea that hard work really gets a person to achieve their goals sometimes eludes people.
The other thing is that most of these people don’t consider it hard work. They actually enjoyed doing the things that they did. They were obsessed with doing the work they had to do.But, how does one obsess about something they have no passion to do?
Well, it brings to mind moments in my life where I had little passion to achieve something. When I was much younger, I hardly had the motivation to get things done, let alone finish my homework in school or prepare for examinations. Because I hadn’t taken much of it seriously, I didn’t have much of a focus for anything.
It seemed that learning how to play the piano was easier for me to do than to submit my homework on time. I didn’t improve because I was “driven”. I merely made a “wish” to get what I wanted, and I did. It was less about “pain” than it was about making a decision, even though I admit that pain is sometimes a useful way to drive oneself toward success. Some people, however, don’t know how to do this, and end up filling themselves with bad emotional states that drive them but also make them sick.
I find that people who are successful overall have a nice blend of success in many areas of their life, particularly in relationships, money and health. I find this particularly intriguing. It no longer is a balancing scale of two sides, but three. Of course, it means there is potential to make this idea more complex - what if we had 4 or 5 balancing poles, etc… but I’m not going to go there yet.
So it begs the question - what really causes someone to drive their health, wealth and relationships? I believe it is the way in which we make decisions on a regular basis.
I suspect that you know how to stay healthy already. It simply takes exercise. Sure, additional strategies can help you to develop your body properly, but you really just need to keep your body exercised. Even if you don’t know how to exercise, you could probably do some research or ask someone.
I suspect that from reading, you already know that you have to create wealth through multiple streams of income, through prudent spending and the like. Even if you don’t have strategies to run a business or trade, you know you can learn these things from people who do know.
I even suspect you know how to create a loving relationship. It’s the way you communicate, and yes, even if you don’t know how to do it, it’s not that tough to learn - by communicating with your loved ones.
So does it mean that success and prosperity is all about action? It seems pretty simplistic, right? You might even question the purpose of this article.
But I think at a deeper, fundamental level, this is what everyone wants to hear - that there is something more than just action. Ever tested an action plan? Maybe you were really good at starting something but never was able to follow it through. Maybe that’s the issue rather than motivation.
In other words, we know that people who succeed are able to sustain their effort over a period of time.
Ask yourself: how long have you been able to sustain an interest enough to become good at doing it? Has there ever been a time where you were able to keep doing something (exercise, diligent work, effectively listen to others) over a sustained period of time? Why?
This sounds even more simplistic, doesn’t it. It implies you haven’t been doing enough. But when I look at people who don’t sustain their progress, it becomes a tell-tale sign that there’s something else at work here. If you don’t do what you are supposed to do, what do you do instead? Is this where all your attention has gone to?
Remember - while we enjoy doing certain things because we prefer it, does not mean that we should be allowed to indulge in that. Whenever we have no time/money/relationships, it’s likely that we did not create enough space for them and keep track of what did exist in the first place.
I think that to be driven to do something, you need a very strong reason. You need to have access to the “why” and that usually can sustain you. What do you want to achieve? How clearly can you see yourself doing it for the next few years? How much better can you get at doing this?
As you create a clear mental picture about what you want to get, it might even be good to review the reasons why this is so important to achieve. Even if it isn’t, make an excuse and consider how bad it could be for you and the people around you if it isn’t achieved. This is a basic propulsion system as described by NLP. Emotions, as it seems, can drive us to move in the direction we want once we notice the importance of that outcome - the reasons why.
By driving the process into an unconscious habitual mode, we need to first of all believe that what we want to achieve is compelling and worth doing, and that we can do it. This is the basis of the belief change process as described in NLP as well. All you need to do to make your beliefs more compelling are to explore how other beliefs of yours became compelling and follow the same process that you did previously: literally, self-modeling. When I doubted I was a good speaker, I realized I was constantly comparing myself with other people. When I shifted, I discovered that I stopped making those comparisons and started focusing on the people who were in the seats. For me, believing in myself was more of looking at someone’s need and helping them to reach their goals, than a popularity contest of who’s better.
If you believe you can handle your life well across those three areas, it is likely you will produce the relevant results. If you find these areas important, you will find yourself obsessing about them so you can achieve positive results. Once that happens, working hard at life becomes a passion rather than work.
Posted by stuart on May 16, 2009 under Uncategorized |
Here’s a simple exercise to gain clarity about what you want to achieve.
1. What do you want specifically?
2. Where are you now?
3. How will you know when you have it? What will you see, hear and feel when you have it?
4. What will this outcome get for you or allow you to do?
5. Where, when and with whom will you be doing it (with)?
6. What do you have now to assist you in getting this outcome? Resources? Resourcefulness?
7. What additional resources do you need?
8. For what purpose do you want this?
9. What will happen (that you might gain/lose) if you have/get it?
10. What might happen if you don’t get it?
11. What might not happen if you get it?
12. What might not happen if you don’t get it?
13. What is your first step toward this goal?
Posted by stuart on May 15, 2009 under Uncategorized |
Well, nobody is perfect. We’re all human, and practitioners of NLP do their best to strive for higher standards. Let’s just say they are in the process of excellence rather than perfection.
That being said, there are practitioners who learn NLP to solve their own problems. Unfortunately, sometimes, that’s not enough. To get the most of your own personal development, some measure of coaching or mentoring is required because we can only be aware so much by ourselves.
Personally, I recommend anyone who is in an NLP Practitioner training to learn to “walk the talk” as best they can. Practitioners who are living NLP day to day will get better in their ability to practice the NLP concepts, and are more likely to be able to help others.
Posted by stuart on under Uncategorized |
Yes. This is a level of unconscious competence. When you ask them how they do it, they say they just do it. That’s the reason why you need to be able to learn the modeling strategies in NLP because you will be asking a different set of questions that help to define your model’s processes better. You can facilitate an expert sharing ideas with you in a concrete and practical way.
Posted by stuart on under Uncategorized |
Some people think that modeling leads to the loss of identity. Actually, most people already model, but on autopilot. We are already modeling people whom we have an affinity to. We already unconsciously learn from people who are around us whether we realize or not.
We have already been modeling. Children are great at doing this and our unconscious models include our parents and teachers.
It’s pretty much like your memory. Why is it that sometimes you remember stuff you want to remember, but a number of times, you remember things you don’t want to remember?
Wouldn’t it be good for you to learn to model after people you want to be like? In other words, you must learn to seek out people who are exhibiting skills you want to pick up. Therefore, you need to be clear who your role models are.
