NLP is a way of getting you to be resourceful by learning how to build and [...]]]> I’ve been looking around the internet and can’t believe the bunch of bull that people are putting on the net regarding the Fast Phobia Cure. There’s a lot of amateurs out there who don’t really know what they are doing.

NLP is a way of getting you to be resourceful by learning how to build and handle your own emotional cocktails. Not everyone has the ability to do that and it requires flexibility because every technique that is built for a specific issue in NLP was modeled by someone else.

What you might find is that the Fast Phobia Cure happens to work well for people who have never learnt how to dissociate. Originally, you will find this technique called the “V-K Dissociation Technique”. Conversely, there are some people with what psychologists call a “dissociative disorder” who actually are competent in dissociation and don’t really need this technique.

Essentially, though, not everyone will go through the technique like a textbook. Unlike the claims made by some websites that this is a powerful therapeutic technique, this technique needs to be tailored in order to fit the needs of the client. And of course is not a replacement for therapy. It works nicely with regular people. But you know that humans aren’t the same across the board. We have our own quirks and complexities, so it takes an experienced individual to be able to detect these differences.

Use with caution, preferably with an expert you trust!

Step 1: Find a resourceful place. Anchor that.

Step 2: Float into a place where you can experience the phobia at a distance. If conducting this, also preframe the process and anticipate reactions of your client.

Step 3: See yourself in that place. Apply submodality mapping techniques utilizing states of intense humor and unstoppable confidence.

Step 4: Test the emotional intensity. If too high, activate the resource.

Step 5: Float back into the actual experience and test. Has the fear disappeared? If not, map the submodality from other representational systems until the fear disappears.

Step 6: Future pace.

Step 7: Physical test. Bring the real stimulus and have the person test on the real situation as best as possible.

NOTE: I highly recommend that if you have not gone through formal training as a psychotherapist or in NLP, you do not attempt this on someone who has an actual phobia. It takes a wee bit more than just these 7 steps.

One such way is personal development. I’ve found NLP to be a great skill in developing [...]]]>

NLP is not a therapeutic process, and isn’t a psychological approach. It is a way of enhancing your resourcefulness and enjoying life. If someone is interested to discover how NLP is used, they can find so in many, many ways.

One such way is personal development. I’ve found NLP to be a great skill in developing better relationships by understanding how people communicate, for example.

In this case, how can you deal with someone who is quick tempered? The simple way to find out is to know that person well. Identify the triggers to that behavior. Very often, quick temper is triggered off by a variety of factors. Your job, if using NLP, is to look for resourceful emotions to completely counteract those (we call that collapsing anchors).

1. Find the triggering event. It could be a person’s voice, a particular situation or a particular sound, maybe even a combination of all of these.
2. Reframe these events before they happen. This is important – you don’t want to wait until it occurs then do “NLP stuff” because you’re training the brain. And the brain does need time to react and adapt!
3. Associate these triggering events to different emotions. Once you have completed step 2, it would be easy to associate triggers to a different emotional state.

Here’s a word of caution, though. If you want to handle someone quick tempered, you may also want to consider if you are the trigger sometimes. Are your listening skills up to par? do you know what your partner needs? If you are able to listen and put your own self out of the way sometimes, it can help! To help you build those skills, you can approach a relationship coach who can then guide you a long.

There are two ways to do this, but the easiest way is to utilize [...]]]> A lot of people tell me that in the spur of the moment they aren’t able to deal with emotions that are overwhelming. I thought about it and figured that I’d been in that position myself several times but managed to cope.

There are two ways to do this, but the easiest way is to utilize a verbal trigger to get you into a dissociated mode, something like a personal code. A phrase like “What’s going on” can help. This forces you to get some awareness. If another person responds to you in a negative way, saying “where is this person coming from” or “what is this person’s highest positive intent” can also dissociate you from just purely reacting and assuming negative things about your interactions.

This, however, requires you to assume that people have a positive intent behind any behavior. This is a basic presumption that to hold in order to make this works.

Emotional Management Technique

Step 1: Use your internal verbal trigger.

Step 2: See yourself floating out of your body and above the situation like a “helicopter view”.

Step 3: Ask for the highest possible purpose or intention for this situation or event. Step into the shoes of that person and go out into the future considering what outcome they want, or what possible good can come out of the situation.

Step 4: Consider new possible responses in light of the positive intention and re-associate into your body.

What happens in your head when you’re unhappy? You think something isn’t right, or someone else should do something for you but didn’t – you basically think of things that are not going your way.

You may then make a conclusion that you’re not happy.

Well, [...]]]> There are a lot of unhappy people in the world, aren’t there.

What happens in your head when you’re unhappy? You think something isn’t right, or someone else should do something for you but didn’t – you basically think of things that are not going your way.

You may then make a conclusion that you’re not happy.

Well, actually, happiness is not what happens to you. Happiness is an emotional state derived from neuro-chemical changes in your brain. It’s based on the mental representations you build (see ‘submodalities).  The level of happiness is not created as a result of having something, well, at least not necessarily anything tangible.

So, think of all the things that you want. Imagine as vividly as you can that you are already living that life. How does that feel? Good? You could then say you are “happy”.

But some people will say that when they wake up from that dream, they become sad again because they are in a reality where they know that their imaginings will never come true!

Isn’t that sad! I mean, not sad that their dream will not come true, but to have an absolute believe that where they are and where they imagine are two different things or places.

The fact is, if you imagine yourself feeling happy, you already go there. The main issue is not whether you feel happy or not, but rather the expectation that you have to feel happy all the time. And true enough, we are all creatures of habit. The less we think about being happy, the less happy we become. We are also emotional masochists sometimes. We ruminate in bad feelings and are really good at feeling bad for no good reason. Don’t you know someone who can get upset at literally almost anything?

From a neurological perspective, what does that mean? Aren’t you rehearsing the same feelings, thereby begetting the same feelings? Neurology has discovered that when the brain fires the same patterns, they literally solidify and become easier to access. In other words, over 90% of the world’s population regularly trains their brain to make them feel bad.

Do I never feel bad?

Well, of course not. I’d rather just focus on the good feelings that I want to build and leave out the rehearing of bad ones. It doesn’t mean I’ll ignore the bad feelings, because bad feelings can also be signals. I mean… if I feel lots of pain, then it’s a signal that I have to attend to. If I’m stepping on a bear trap, I can’t just ignore the pain. I attend to where the pain is, and then figure out how to remove the thing that’s causing the pain.

To ensure you keep triggering happy thoughts, you need to build for yourself a reminder system. What are your successes? Who cares about you? What can you do that others can’t do? What makes people feel you are special?

As you build a mental database of these items, imagine if everything in your life just reminds you of these things. Even the worst of problems help you to connect to the mental database of great things happening in your life.

Most of the time, human beings forget that there are good things that have happened in their lives. We forget that even the time we could tie our shoelaces was a triumph, let alone learning to walk or swim or make friends. We take for granted these achievements, then say that life is bad.

Instead, we need to remember. We need to learn to re-connect ourselves with moments in our lives that matter, even for a split second. Even if it no longer matters today (lollipops may have mattered at age 5 more than they do now).

Travel back in time (see ‘timeline’) and associate in the moments of your success and happiness. If you do that everytime you open your eyes, turn on the TV, argue with someone, open a door, write an email, start your car… anything can remind you of the other side of you. Simmer in those good feelings for a while before you start your day!

Let’s first of all say that it’s normal to feel anxious about public speaking. But what’s more important is that it is an indication of how much confidence you’ve built in [...]]]> I decided to just write my thoughts about public speaking, especially for people who are preparing for it, and wonder why they have the heebie-jeebies.

Let’s first of all say that it’s normal to feel anxious about public speaking. But what’s more important is that it is an indication of how much confidence you’ve built in yourself.

I don’t want to swing over to being too overconfident, because I know when I’m overconfident I tend to screw up a presentation. If I’m to cautious, the same result occurs. I need a nice balance of confidence and anxiety to be able to create the best environment for me. Richard Bandler calls this situation a “propulsion system”.

Think of what you want, then build the feelings deeply inside of you and begin to enhance those feelings of confidence.

At the same time, a bit of anxiety (not overwhelming like a level 10 type of phobia, but more like a level 1 kind of questioning – did I cover everything) can help. Explore the anxiety again, and notice what level of that feeling you have. If it is too strong, reduce the intensity of the feeling with submodalities.

The most important is not the feeling, but the belief. Confidence comes from a sensation of belief that you can do exceptionally well. Look at your submodalities. How compelling and real are they to you? If they aren’t, just make it compelling by enhancing the submodalities you see them in.

The progression I made from an embarrassed child to confident speaker would have been faster if I had known this much earlier. Give it a shot and explore using the submodality checklist here.

However in most cases, [...]]]> It’s been obvious that there are resources in our life that we need to control. So far, “knowledge” seems to be a resource that people can control with the use of appropriate learning skills. “Money” is a resource that people can control with the appropriate sets of skills an dbeliefs as well.

However in most cases, “time” is a resource that a lot of people don’t really know how to handle. It may seem that there’s no “skill” that you can learn to control time, unlike knowledge or wealth. Well, by now, you probably know that’s bogus.

Let’s take a look at the factors that allow you to handle time effectively.

#1 – Focus on what drives you.

In NLP, we understand the concepts of values: our inner motivational driving forces. If you have not really explored your own personal values, you should. It is the way in which you define these values that enables you to handle time properly. After all, clarity of hierarchy is the thing that gives you clarity of priorities.

#2 – Audit your values regularly

It’s no use if you’ve brought your values to consciousness but don’t review them. Review and audit them regularly to remind yourself of why you do what you do.

#3 – Establish the right beliefs about time.

If you are unaware of limiting beliefs about learning or money, you’ll find that you end up not being able to learn and probably not having enough money. Likewise, if you are not aware of your limiting beliefs about things you do, you might end up losing time. For example, when do you say you “don’t have time”? What are the common elements that are associated with those things that you don’t have time for?  No time for:

• Handling details (schedules, receipts, etc)?
• Meeting new people?
• Household chores?
• Quality time with your spouse?

Conversely, what do you have time for instead, where there is no resistance?

• Watching re-runs?
• Drinking alcohol?
• Habitual smoking?
• Window shopping?

This will uncover things about yourself you need to explore.

#4 – Control your internal representations.

Did you know that when you are rushed for time and when time disappears, it’s pretty much when you don’t keep track of it? Well, technically, even if you were handling your tasks well, time also seems to fly – but you have evidence that you’ve got your work done and you know you’ve used time well.

• Go back in your mind and ask yourself what is the difference between (a) the times when you had lots of time and did not produce results compared with (b) the times when you got things done.
• Notice what submodalities are different. Look especially in terms of the types of mental images. You might find that in (a) you had many fleeting images of different things in disarray in your mind, whereas for (b), they appear to be more structured and organized.
• Whenever you encounter situations like (a), convert the submodalities into those of (b) using the Mapping Across technique in NLP.

Which reminds me… I have to get some things done now. =D

Do you desire financial freedom and fame?  If you do, I have news for you.  NLP can help you model after those successes!  However, you might have a lot of catching up the, not just in financial success, but also in terms of knowing where you are where you ought to go. [...]]]> photo credit: h.koppdelaney

Do you desire financial freedom and fame?  If you do, I have news for you.  NLP can help you model after those successes!  However, you might have a lot of catching up the, not just in financial success, but also in terms of knowing where you are where you ought to go. If you’re one of those people who have great financial success, but are complete jerks, don’t read this. I have people whom I care about whom I want to succeed, not you.

So guys… you want success. Yet, some people have great financial success but are these blamers, whiners and complainers. They are rich in cash, but poor in character. Somehow, these morons seem to get away with it, don’t they? It seems somewhat unfair, that they have it and you don’t.

If you are hardworking, honest, and have a sense of responsibility in the things that you do, all it takes is a little fire and passion and drive you toward greater success. I think these are the things that are necessary for you to forge ahead and build any kind of success that you want. But you must be willing to take the hits.

The worst thing that can happen for you is that you ONLY take credit for everything that goes right, and fail to improve from the things that don’t go right. Take responsibility. When I mean responsibility, I’m really talking about the ability to take charge of one’s own decisions, instead of blaming someone else and making excuses. If you don’t achieve something, for heaven’s sake don’t blame anyone else for it.

You need to learn this. Responsibility is one of the most important key facets in NLP. I found that accepting responsibility actually a allows you to develop a greater sense of learning through feedback.

So, if you’re not wealthy yet, take responsibility!

If you don’t have a great family yet, take responsiblity!

If people don’t like you yet, take responsibility!

If you were made bankrupt…(the list goes on, by the way)

Learn something from it.

Once you take a look inside yourself instead of outside of yourself and looking for something to blame, you’ll find that there’s a lot more that you can do to grow as a human being. You become more fulfilled, and experience a greater sense of lightness so that things get better in all aspects of your life.

The basic strategy for taking responsibility is to observe all comments, a visual stimulus, or any other form of sensory feedback and process that by asking the question: “what could I do to improve this?”

The moment you ask this question, it presumes that you already have a clear enough outcome. For most people, the outcome is unclear. You definitely want to have some clarity of your outcomes in order to know how to exactly improve. Once you’re there, you can activate resources that lead you to where it is that you need to go.

I certainly hope that you focus on character instead of cash, wisdom instead of fame, integrity instead of blame.  I know that once you’re there, it will definitely help you to make yourself as cash rich and famous as you choose to be. 

photo credit: kainet

Most people who are familiar with NLP are able to put other people into a deep state of relaxation. In order for you to know how to do this effectively, you need to understand the use of the Milton model.

Milton Erickson, it is frequently referred to [...]]]>

photo credit: kainet

Most people who are familiar with NLP are able to put other people into a deep state of relaxation. In order for you to know how to do this effectively, you need to understand the use of the Milton model.

Milton Erickson, it is frequently referred to as one of the pillars of NLP. Richard Bandler and John Grinder modeled after Erickson’s approach to hypnosis. And all they did was extract the linguistic categories in his language patterns! The overall result is an astonishing work that has transformed ordinary people into extraordinary hypnotists.

Relaxation is an emotional state that requires individuals to be aware of their body. Very often, the process of deep relaxation requires the initiation of breathing patterns that are different from the current state that they are in. Once you engage in individual in breathing deeply through their nails and breathing out through their mouths, they will begin to regulate their patterns of breathing. This automatically changes their emotional state based on physiological regulation.

The process of pacing and leading is therefore used in order to utilize the physiological change. Phrases such as “as you notice your breathing”, “listening to the sound of my voice”, and “feeling the sensations in your body”, are statements that any individual listening to them cannot deny as an untruth. As such, they are pacing and utilization statements.

In order to deepen states of relaxation, simply link these to suggested outcomes. Read things, “as you notice your breathing, you can begin to go deeper into a state of absolute relaxation”.

This is the reason why most people mistakenly associate NLP with hypnosis. NLP practitioners merely developed the modeling capacity to reverse engineer should notice on their own. For more information about NLP and hypnosis, simply it down to www.WorldofNLP.com.